Tuesday, April 17, 2012

A forever unforgettable day.

I first want to start this blog with how I have been aching today.  I have had such a "down" day.  I know on April 17th for the rest of my life I will always think about my donor.  I am extremely grateful for her gift.  However, I am so saddened for the family that lost their dear loved one.  I ache knowing that I am here and she is not.  I constantly am reminded at how God has a plan for my life, but still I am wondering what that plan is?  I feel different when April comes around and no one really close to me understands.  I should be happy and jumping around, but I feel like it is an anniversary of someone I lost.  In a way it kind of is right?  I have a part of that person in me.  I can feel her heart beat in my chest.  It is a remarkable, yet difficult feeling knowing I am here because of someone else's life.  I ache for her.  My heart is sad for her and her family.  I truly hope one day her family will know how much I appreciate her/their special gift.  I can never repay.  I am forever grateful.  Thank you.  Please know I have been thinking about you ALL day long and am reminded of you every single day I look down at my scars.  I hope Jesus is holding you in his lap right now.




This is what was happening with me on her last day...

From my dad’s blog “4/17 7:50am Megan is again fighting for every breath. They are calling in the team of doctors to see what can be done. Pray for wisdom for the doctors, peace for Megan and us, and that God will put His arms around her right now.”
I was now on a temporary respirator.  I was in and out of consciousness.  I don’t remember a lot of the morning where Dr. Wang came in with what could have been interpreted as a death sentence.  He told my dad I had developed pneumonia.  If a heart even became available at this point there was NO way I could receive it.  I was too sick to undergo any surgery.  “Sorry, we waited to long” came out of his mouth in reference to giving me a more permanent version of the LVAD. “There is nothing else we can do”.  This news would come as detrimental to almost anyone’s family.  I am so thankful for a family and a body of believers who didn’t give up praying.  They believed God could still work in this situation.  My dad responded to Dr. Wang with saying, “There is something we can do.  We can pray”.  
Thankfully no one told me the horrible news.  Underneath it all I kept fighting.  I wanted to live and live better than ever before.  

“There is nothing else we can do”
Dad’s blog: “4/17 3:00 Had to do emergency procedures to stop infection and help her to breathe. Having a hard time stopping bleeding and is on a temporary respirator. Had trouble during procedure & Meg woke. They allowed Kathie & Mandi to sit under sanitary cloth and calm Meg. We are definitely calling for God's miraculous touch today.”
I remember part of this day so vividly.  Writing scribbly notes with my family because I was too weak to talk.  My family looked down on me with saddened eyes.  I knew something was wrong, but I didn’t know what.  It was almost like I was clueless as to how sick I was. God was working though...
Dad's blog: "4/17 6:50 pm Meg is starting to improve. Temp is coming down. White blood count is still high. Her breathing is easier, but only with an oxygen mask. Mandi (her sister) is combing Meg's hair and trying to make her feel better. We have walked numerous times around her bed today, claiming VICTORY in JESUS name. We believe a miracle is on its way."
I’ll never forget thinking “If I see my cardiologist right now, I know it will be good news.” He finally walked in the room....with a BIG grin on his face.  “Megan we have a heart for you if you choose to accept it!”  

  
The very embrace I needed.  At the beginning of the day there was no hope, but at the end I was offered life.  My favorite picture of all time.





Signing for the heart. Please notice Mandi in the pic on the right.  I love her smile!!




Dr. Ewald explaining what will happen next. Me on the left in a much better mood!


Proud and happy sisters.


Brother and sis-in-love getting ready to sleep in the waiting room.

A forever unforgettable day...


21 comments:

  1. You are truly an angel! I am so blessed to have met someone as special as you! I remember when you told me about your heart problems and I told you you will be okay. God has a big plan for you. Just keep being megan! I love you rochelle! Lol

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hi Megan i read your blog and i absolutely understand what and how you feel, however you have to keep in mind this was God's plan and will for it to have been in that way. Instead of two being lost and two families grieving he made a decision to be one, in which I'm sure he made no mistake if God allowed it don't be saddened nor let it grieve you. God had the perfect reason to do what he did he may be working with her family through her death which may have been the only way and has allowed you a chance to live to complete his work in yours. Once again don't let God's work grieve you he is the one who makes things happen or not happen instead praise him because he allowed that heart to make it on time to you after the doctor's said, "Sorry we waited to long" what they said was based on human time not on divine time which belongs to the creator and "author of time" so that his plan would continue in perfect rhythm and harmony to his purpose. God bless you Megan and much love to you and your loved ones. April 17th marks the day that God ones again proves the mere man that he is God and it is he who decides who, what, when, how and why things are done the way HE had already predestined. For you, me and everybody whom walks, talks and breaths here in this temporary world. God bless you....

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  3. WOW!!! Tears just running down my face! I feel numb reading this!
    When I found out I was healed, surprisingly (and I have never shared this) I was mad. I knew of all of these people around me that needed heart transplants. Kids that were 4 or 5. I remember asking... BEGGING God that He would heal them, not me. Two days later (while I was going on my first date ever)a new christian lost his battle to cancer. I had no desire to do anything that day. I thought how can I go celebrate my life, when someone else lost theirs? Not until recently has God reminded me my life is for HIS glory! Megan, your purpose is to give HIM glory. Be sad for the family that lost someone but be thankful to them that hopefully they were a follower of Christ and now they are giving Him glory IN HEAVEN! How exciting! Your story is the most moving and exciting one I have ever read! God not just did a work through you, but you just shine with His light and that is Awesome!

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