I remember crying with my mom some nights telling her I was “ready”...ready to receive the call there was a heart available. I just wanted my old life back. I wanted to be strong again. I wanted to walk from my room to the living room and not be exhausted. I didn’t want to be completely dependent on others anymore.
I keep looking back at dad’s posts from last March and it really puts everything into perspective. I have come so far. So many things have changed.
Mar 22, 2010 Thank you, Jesus, for a good day. It is amazing the difference 12 hours can make. Megan woke this morning hungry and ready to eat. 3 meals today and they are still down the hatch. Makes me realize how much the rest of us take for granted each day. Thanks for all your prayers.
Mar 24, 2010 Megan's good days were short-lived this time. She started feeling full (fluids) last night and it has continued today. When she feels this way, she can't eat much because she knows it will be revisiting us soon. Praying the booster pill kicks in, gets rid of the fluids, and allows her to feel better soon.
Mar 27, 2010 Megan has continually grown weaker in the last few days; just sitting up or talking exhaust her. She has nibbled on a few things today, but most has made a return visit. God, Meg needs your loving arms around her tonight. (And while You're there, please heal her.) "When I am afraid, I will put my trust in Thee." Ps 56:3
Mar 29, 2010 Still no improvement in Megan. We are taking her to the doctor tomorrow. We are praying he will allow her to have a nutritional IV at home.
When I read these I sit amazed. I remember those days like they were yesterday. I really don’t even know what to say sometimes. March has been hard for me emotionally dealing with everything. I am very thankful for where I am today, but the past weighs heavy on my mind. Since this month has been difficult, I cannot imagine how April will be. My heart is aching for my donor family these days. I know if it’s hard on me, it’s even harder on them.