Sunday, July 18, 2010

Breathing in and out the name of Jesus...

July 18, 2010

Time is flying. It was exactly three months ago when I was feeling very anxious and could not lie still because I knew I was soon receiving my new heart. The doctors kept pushing the time back because they were trying to find a recipient for the donor lungs. When I look back at it now, I am thankful because it gave me many extra hours to regain strength from being so sick earlier in the day. It was a blessing in disguise.

This night would not have been the same without my sweet nurse. I was so fidgety and literally could not stop moving. I had already been on a large breathing mask earlier in the day, but when I had begun to get a little better I was able to switch to a smaller one. Now I needed the large mask again because of being so anxious made it much more difficult to breathe. I remember trying to lie still, but my legs were constantly moving up and down, I would turn on my side and then on my back, my arms would be spread out and then crossed, my toes would jerk and then my fingers… I could not find a comfortable place or stay calm. Even mom could not calm me or make me feel comfortable. I imagine because she may have been experiencing a little anxiety as well, as we were both focusing on the transplant ahead. The nurse noticed my mom was not helping my situation any so she kindly took the matter upon herself. The nurse leaned over my bed, got down in my face and said, “Megan, say ‘Jeeeeesus’ with me with every breath.” So together we breathed in saying, “Jeeeee” and breathed out saying, “sus”. Over and over again, “Jeeeeesus, Jeeeeesus, Jeeeeesus…”

I was soon calming and it was much easier to breathe when I was breathing in and out the name of Jesus. She then started singing to me, and what a better song choice than, “Jesus Loves Me”.

Jesus wants to regenerate us. He wants to give us life and energy. Breathing in His name is a way to enjoy the Lord. John 20:22 states that when the Lord Jesus came in His disciples midst He said, “Receive the Holy Spirit.” To me, this means that each believer can breathe in the Lord by calling on His name. Let Him rejuvenate you! Breathing in and out His name made me focus on Him rather than the scary situation at hand.

"Blessed Jesus, Mighty Savior!
Thy name is all I need;
Just to breathe the name of Jesus,
Is to drink of Life indeed.”

From the hymn, ‘Glorious, mighty name of Jesus’.


  1. Keep writing Megan. More people need to know about this and how you felt - it is a great story that we both get to get through. I never dealt with heart function as low as yours though- I never dropped below 30. You dealt with it in a very brave manner and have a great relationship with the Lord.

  2. Beautiful beyond our wildest imagination.

  3. I just saw your story on channel 5 and looked you up. I wish I would have know, so I could have left you some comments before your surgery. I had a bilateral lung transplant 7 years ago. I was "out of commission" for over 2 years, at home doing nothing and feeling depressed. Wanted so badly to go to school or work, or just see a movie at the theater without people starring. Your paragraph from March, "So many questions come to mind", was exactly what I was feeling then.

    Meeting your donor family is a little nerve racking and emotional. Make sure to live every minute of your life and don't take anything for granted.

    I'll check back here often and if you have any questions, I can leave a comment.

    The transplant team at Barnes is great, aren't they?!


  4. so beautiful! Thanks for sharing with all of us!!

  5. That was beautiful. What an AWESOME nurse you had and what an AWESOME God we serve!

  6. Hi Megan,
    Thank you so much for sharing your story. My husband and I have been following your parents updates for quite some time. Our 2 month old baby had a heart transplant on May 25th. Your faith is amazing. One of the things that I worry about is how she will deal with facing difficulties in the future. Your words remind me that she will grow into a woman who will have her own relationship with the Lord that will give her the comfort and understanding she needs. We have seen so many wonderful things come of the situation we have been through. I'm sure you have, as well! Please know that your story and your strength are inspiring to me, so one little thing you have done is given comfort and hope to a new transplant mom:)